Helpful Tips On Taking Care Of Your Toddler (From A Mom That’s Been There)
With my youngest entering his last year as a toddler, I thought I would share some insights. Being a mom to a toddler is such a combination of love and challenge because not only can they be so sweet and adorable, but they can also cause a lot of commotion. The good news is that you can find five common toddler issues and how to deal with them in my post below.
Biting
Ouch! They only have tiny teeth, but a nip from your toddler, who is just learning to negotiate the world around them, can hurt. Biting is usually an expression of anger or frustration, so minimizing it is all about helping your toddler learn to cope with these feelings more constructively.
The important thing here is not to teach them that the feelings are wrong but that dealing with them by biting others is. One way to do this is to remove them from the situation whenever they bite someone and tell them why. Also, give them another outlet to vent their frustrations while they calm down; you can provide tactile things to help them express their anger at this stage, such as play dough or paper they can rip, or even toys to redirect their focus onto something more fun. I loved reading the book Teeth are Not for Biting as a way to teach them not to bite.
Learning the word no, and then never using any other word!
When your child begins talking it is one of the most amazing times in the whole process of being a parent. Until they master the word ‘no.’ Of course, we want our children to learn the word no, and the associated boundaries and protective behaviours that go along with it, but for a while, it can feel that no matter what you do, your child will say no to it.
I think it’s important to realize that this is a vital developmental stage when they realize they are separate from their parents and do not have to do everything that is asked or expected of them. To that end, patience is key, and when things get too much, don’t offer yes or no choices but choices between things like a cheese sandwich or a ham sandwich to help move the process along while still adding a layer of autonomy. Instead, say something like would you like your ham sandwich cut in squares or in triangles. So, they are still eating the sandwich but feel like they are in control by choosing the shape.
Hair pulling
While it sounds like bad behavior, hair-pulling is very common for toddlers. They learn early on that it’s a great way to get the attention of the person whose hair it is. Hair pulling is also a way for toddlers to have some control over their environment, something that is often limited for them.
Despite this rationale for hair pulling, it’s still unacceptable behavior, so the best way to deal with it is just like with biting above. Take a break from the activity and say, “Ow, that hurts me,” and then keep your hair out of their reach. Whether you pull it up, or move into a position that keeps them from pulling your hair. It can also be helpful to praise good behavior when you see it. For example, when your child is playing nicely with others and not engaging in hair-pulling, you can comment, “I love the way you are playing kindly with your friends right now!” Doing this will allow them to gain attention for positive behaviors rather than negative ones like hair pulling.
Sleep regression
Another behavior that your toddler may experience is sleep regression. Sleep regression is when your child suddenly goes back to waking up in the night when they have otherwise been sleeping through with no problems. It can be particularly painful for parents who start getting used to a good night’s sleep only to realize that it’s once again being taken away. Unfortunately, sleep regression is widespread from the young baby to the toddler stage, with many kids going through it up to and including 2 years of age.
If you suspect that your toddler may be showing 2 year sleep regression symptoms, then it’s a good idea to try some of the tips like maintaining a good bedtime routine, or ensuring they stay in their bed. You may even consider changing their bedtime so they don’t wake up as early in the morning which can give you some respite as a parent! But beware, some kids will wake up at the same time, no matter what time you put them to bed.
Running away
One of the most upsetting common toddler behaviors is running away from a parent or guardian when outside and in public. Of course, this can present significant safety concerns and make a parent sick when done by a busy road, body of water, or crowded public place.
One option to deal with this behavior is to provide plenty of free-roaming space for your toddler that is also fenced. For example, you can ensure you have effective fences around your yard but then let them run around it freely. I also really like going to parks that are gated, knowing they can’t just take off.
Some parents also use a harness or get their children to hold onto the stroller to remind them not to run off when in public. Similarly, reminding them of your expectations, such as holding hands, can help provide an extra layer of security until they grow out of this phase.
While toddler behaviors won’t always be logical, remember that their brains are still developing. And each of these challenging scenarios offers you the opportunity to teach your toddler about expectations and how to treat people.
